Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Update I am here...I think and had my interview

The other day I was laying in bed having an argument with Oprah. She was on my mind cause she was in Denmark trying to learn why the Danish are the happiest people on earth. She and I were arguing about past things she has said and how they apply to me. I am not saying it was her fault but I just did not agree with some of the things she was saying to me. Maybe she is right? Maybe I should have better thread count sheets. Is she aware how rich she is and that I am not. We just kept going back and forth......

and then I saw myself.... I am lying in a bed in Holland having a delusional conversation with Oprah!

Am I losing it?

I also found myself in the kitchen singing Good Morning from Singing in the Rain with Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds and Donald O'Connor. You know it?

Good morning, good morning, there lot's to see and do, good morning, good morning to you and you and you and you and you.

Except I found myself singing it (over and over) like this

Goed morgen Goed morgen daar is lots to see and do, goed morgen, goed morgen to jou and jou and jou and jou and jou. (at one point I imagined singing in front of the Queen) I am sure my neighbors heard. I was belting it!

Am I losing it?

What is it? Is it the snow and being cooped up? I need a job

Well I got one! Yes they offered me a job. I am very excited. I will be an assistant (although I am sick of having jobs with the word ass in it) Event Coordinator for a really lovely LOVELY historic event location in the Hague. This is really good for me for many reasons. For one, it is close by so I will not have to drive in Holland! Another good thing is that I will have income! I am free. FREE! Free from the clutches on my Dutch Master Jur. I will have my own money to pay my bills and buy what I want when I want. I think Jur is a bit worried that I am going to shake things up! Well hold on to your clogs Jur cause things are gonna change. Waa Haaaa Haaaa Haaaa (scary evil laugh).

The job has another good personal plus for me. I was an Assistant Event Planner in LA before I came here. So being able to do the same thing (or close to it) here in Holland allows me to feel like I have not had to completely change who I am. For the last several months as I was cooped up I feared having to get a job sweeping floors or stocking grocery shelves or washing dishes. Not that those are bad jobs but being as how I have moved to a foreign land, how I miss seeing and talking to friends and family (long distance and time difference make it hard), also that I gave up jobs I loved, that I am always so freaking cold, that I have a Masters Degree and I have recently started having imaginary conversations with Oprah, I was concerned that I may not be emotionally ready to accept the position of a dish washer or a janitor.

The Dutch seem a bit shocked how I got the job. I got it fast. I had scoped this place out for a while. Then when I got my work visa I marched over and found the office to this gorgeous place that looked like it had fabulous parties. Their door was locked. So I walked around looking for another door. Nothing. So I started peaking through windows. I banged on a few and nothing. Then I found this big ancient bell and I started pulling on to make loud bongs. Finally someone came out the old wooden door and looked at me strangely.

I simply said "Hi, my naam is Ken. Ik sprekt niet zo goed Dutch. Do you sprekt English?"

He seemed scared but friendly (the Dutch are always friendly) "Yah" he said

"Well I want to work here. Do you need people to work here? I am good at throwing parties. Can we talk?"

Long story short I talked with him then came back to meet with the Regional Manager and now I start in a week and half! I guess the part that Jur, his family and friends say is "unusual" was ringing bells and banging on windows. But they all admitted getting a job this fast was rare. I was desperate! I was snowed in, becoming delusional, wanting money to buy fun things, singing made up Dutch American Musical songs. Also my increasing obsession on meeting Queen Beatrix was starting to even scare me. I needed to get out, work and meet some people. Plus I was NOT going to be a dish washer.

Oh speaking of the Queen..... I believe she has gone to events where I will be working. So it is possible to meet her. In reality this is not the meeting I want to have with her so I am not too excited about this, however this could allow me the opportunity to slip her my card with my name and this blog address on it. I am not nervous or intimidated by Queen Beatrix. Please. I worked at events where I had to watch over the needs of numerous celebrities (aka American Royalty) like Charlotte Rae (from Facts of life) (now she made me nervous). Queen Beatrix just seems so cool and I have never met a Royal before. I guess I am hoping for more than just her passing by me or me offering her a cheese puff. One can always hope.

So this job has yanked me back into the world of the sane. I think I will be okay. For now.


  1. Okay if I come across as crazy on this I am NOT! I was just sharing a few slightly kooky personal momemts. I asked Jur if I sounded crazy and he said no more crazy than usual, which has caused me to be paranoid. I am fine and functioning. My interview went great and I am not delusional.

  2. Congratulations to you Ken! Don't be perturbed by the shock of the Dutch. They just don't know how we DO things in the U.S. of A, yo'! (spoken with a gangsta' swagger...)

    As far as the Queen B thing goes, I can see the news headline now, "Crazy Terrorist Suspect Detained After Trying to Pass Questonable Paraphenalia to the Queen." Ahhhh, Ken!

    Oh, and don't think you're fooling anyone. We all know that you love being in the clinches of your Dutch Master, Jur. (tramp)

  3. Hi Ken, congrats on your new job! I just happened upon your blog (I'm also an American expat living in the NL). You crack me up! (In a good way!) Thanks for a fun read, I especially loved your Thanksgiving adventures in this "canned pumpkin-less" country! x Sara

  4. Hi Sara and thanks for the comment. Where you located? How long have you been here? Yeah no Libbys pumpkin! I got a whole frozen container now in my frezer...along with ten ice trays! Hope you are surving the winter. Ken

  5. Greetings Ken!

    Grats on the job! Yet another great post, laughed a few times, including my dutchie making fun of me trying to recite your Dutch-American made up musical song :P In honor of your employment I shall make Chile Verde for dinner tonight!

  6. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you. I totally understand the 'job hunting thing' and not wanting to be in the clutches of Evil Dutch Partner (haha!!!) I mean- be independant and not give up your identity- ;)

    Wonderful news. Can't wait to hear more about it.

  7. Well done You..Hope it all goes great for you and that you still have time to write about your adeventures of mind and body x

  8. Hey Ken, I am in Amsterdam...along with a prized package of Nestle Chocolate Chips, a jar of jalepeno jelly and a box of Arm & Hammer brought back from Christmas. Have been here 2 years since moving with my husband. Love reading your blog! PS. I also sometimes change the song words to Dutch, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. :)

  9. Thanks Kerry Anne and Sara I am so coming over. I made chocolate chip cookies the other day and was so happy and sooo sad. Becuase now I only have one bag left. It was all bittersweet (no pun intended) JALAPENO JELLY! I have to get me some now! I am sooo jealous. Maybe we should organize an American Treasure swap meet. People bring things the treasure and we all swap our goods for other goods. I also want to open a 1950 Dinner here and adjoingig General Store (sort of like something you would see in Disney but with American food and American Products!