Friday, November 30, 2012

Diet Blog #1 How does a over weight Baker diet?

This is it folks.  Be warned. I am writing this high in the sky on the plane returning fromTexas to Holland and..... I am going on a diet. 


So how does an overweight baker diet?.... I have no idea.

but sharing the journey with you ( sort of confessing) is a key part of the plan

Here are the rules for YOU: 
Be nice
Share with others
Motivate (nicely)
Still continue to eat ABC desserts ( will live through you) PLEASE
If there are desserts left over I will eat them and it will be your fault!

Here are the rules for ME:
Be honest
Be candid (not candy)
Not kill skinny people
Not lie (I just had a small nibble of bacon before I wrote this) (not a whole piece) (see I am trying and being honest)

How did I prepare for this diet?
I ate sooooo much damn food in Texas. Anything and everything. I celebrated Thanksgiving Day there and ate ate ate. It was my Swan Song vacation meal.  I covered everything from BBQ, Tex Mex, fast food, home cooking , coke, candy, chocolate. I even ate on the way to the airport just to make sure I got all I could. 

I am filled up and now it is time to cut back!

Why am I doing this diet?
There are many reasons, many many many ... 
BE NICE.... 
I am sick of avoiding windows, mirrors or anything that shows my reflection from the neck down. There are a lot of reflecting things everywhere

I am sick of fighting to get behind people whenever people are taking a picture of me (pretty much every photo in 2012) 

(I also hate facebook and photos taken unaware and published where I look like a plump tic ready to pop) (most of 2012)

I can't bend down with out spreading my legs a bit (which is even more humiliating when you are reaching down for a piece of fallen food or candy)

I recently had to take a flight on a smaller commercial plane and for the first time EVER I almost feared the seat belt was too small and I might need an extender (fortunately I discovered I had grabbed my neighbors belt by mistake)

I have to roll out of bed and small cars

I have a closet full of clothes that sort of do not fit

The list goes on and on ( I will share more as they happen )

How will I do this?
first off I have a goal weight

I will eat less ( which is a challenege since I will be baking A LOT!) (Hell)

When I am angry or gulity or cheat  ( or crying) from baking ( a lot) I will just vent it all here (Thank you) (I ate a teaspoon of cream cheese frosting today!) (REALLY)

I will go to bed earlier so I will not snack at night

I will probably be going to bed at 6 pm 

I have stocked up on melatonin and sleepy time tea ( which are calorie free! )

I will eat frequent smaller meals (yippie)

Drink lot's of water (whatever the hell that is)

Eat more fruits and veggies (I am looking to see if lemon bars count) (certainly oatmeal raisin cookies do right?)

Control snacking (uggghhhhh this one is tough) 

Stretch and exercise

I will pray, meditate, and visualize the fat away

I am entitled to one after work martini a day.... REVISION.... I am entitled to AT LEAST one after work martini a day


What I will not do is change our recipes, and sacrifice the joy and deliciousness of ABC desserts. This is MY issue. Not my customers.  

So promise me you will come and get your delicious brownies, your scrumptious New York style cheesecakes, your thick and tangy lemon bars, your warm, soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies, your divine rich and gooey cinnamon buns, your sweet, sticky, nutty, creamy carrot cake,  your dreamy, silky, triple chocolate cake or the red velvet...... I CAN'T DO THIS!

GOD I AM HUNGRY and it has only been 23 minutes ....  

control Ken just breath 

Just kidding... I can and will do this so please. Please come and get it. See me smile with pride at our creations. I will live through you. Sign my pledge to eat dessert in support of Ken's diet and get a free cookie! Seriously. Spread the word

I need the suppport, we need the business and you get deliciousness. It is a win win

Of course for the first few weeks I might serve with a smile but be a little grumpy .... But that is part of the process.  So please be patient

Oh here is another reason I am on a diet.... I have found myself counting people on elevators before I enter and checking the max weight just to make sure it is safe fo me to get on.... Fat paranoia is dreadful

So blog one complete, are you with me? Send to anyone who wants to show me support or who wants to join me journey! Baking and Dieting... oh the journey begins.

the future skinny baker
who is in the kitchen crying
looking at a giant bucket of chocolate chips